So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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