Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
