I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
