im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
