I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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