You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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