so explain again why im purple
no
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
