Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
