Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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