yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
