I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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