So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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