when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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