You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
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