Having a random hookup so left but love u
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
