They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
