:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
