nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
