I'm going to rape someone's good day.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
