i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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