remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
