Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
