hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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