cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
PANTIES FOUND
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