I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
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