He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
