and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
