So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
