god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
