no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
