why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
