I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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