Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
