The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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