shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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