I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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