i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize