...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
