we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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