how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
