I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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