Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
