glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
