her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
