Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
