I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
