There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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