you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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