sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize