what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
