I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
