I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
