you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize