I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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