THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
They are going to name an STD after you.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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