I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
