Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Randomize