i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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