His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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