Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
