that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
