boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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