I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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