this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
