He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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