There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
