C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize