She is in my trunk
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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