She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
mondays should just be called national damage control day
He passed out mid-signature
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize